A Portrait of the Dumbass as an Old Man

Jebus Was Gay

While we are in such a jolly blasphemous mood/mode:

For years I have told a story about one of the kids whom I coached in U8 soccer. He was on my oldest daughter's (27 YO) team. U8 soccer was still 11-on-a-side then, which made it easier for this boy to employ his special soccer talent -- which was to never be involved in the play at all. If the ball would start his way, he would magically melt away to somewhere else. He had a totally sweet nature, but, as a U8 soccer coach a big part of my job was to try to make these 6-7 year olds aggressive. Several times with this boy, I had the thought: "What am I doing? Here is this sweet, christ-like child and I'm trying to turn him into an agressive animal like the rest of them." Whenever I have told this story, I have always referred to the child as christ-like.

So, a couple of Sundays ago, there was an interview with this boy in the paper. He is a member/founder of Scissor Sisters, a glam pop group doing very well in the UK, and starting to get some traction in the US. In the article, it was mentioned that he was gay.

So, I got to thinking. Turn the other cheek, love those that oppress you, do these sound like anything that would come out of the mouth of your standard, heterosexual male (asshole)? Not very likely. A gay man tho -- it makes a lot more sense.

There you have it, QED. And I didn't even have to bring up the 12 "apostles" jebus hung out with all the time.